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5 things that feel like blockades in the way of happiness (past or present)

This list was one of the harder ones to write. Harder still is deciding what to share here on this blog. I feel like some of the blockades led me to the wonderful family I have now and I would not trade them for anything. I guess in an alternative universe the greatest hardships I faced to make me unhappy were these.

1. Moving away from my dad and siblings in New York when I was 14. The mileage, no internet back then or cell phones. Not having a tangible family connection when I needed it the most during my teens years was a big blockade.
2. Not finishing college.
3. My first marriage. I don't regret my daughter in any way but I should have never married her father. I was pressured into marriage before she was born. Though we talked about getting married before I was pregnant, I would have never had actually had gone through with it if we had an actual engagement. I would have finished school and not given up all those great opportunities I had as a working photographer. Who knows...I might have gone on to Rolling Stone like I had always dreamed of. (que Sinatra)
4. Envy is a huge blockade to happiness. It is something I am really doing my best to work on. It is not that I am a very envious person. The sad fact is that most people are and even more sad is they do not even know they are. We are surrounded by them. My husband and I are making a conscious effort to live more simply. Less is more. We have no desire to keep up with the Joneses. I find being around people who are more concerned with status and trend and what other people think make me feel small. It is toxic for my health and makes me extremely depressed to be around. To some degree it makes me angry also. In all cases it makes me feel petty. I just do not like the way it makes me feel about myself or the way it makes me feel about other people. Social media pretty much makes it impossible to get away from it. I don't think it is a battle I can win. Not in America. Maybe if I move to Costa Rica. Yes. More on that later...I promise.
5. Debt. My father was great with money, my mother was terrible with money. I lived with my mom. I made very poor financial decisions at a young age that I paid for for a very long time. Without getting too dark and personal the mantra I have adopted of less is more is something I wish I had implemented in my 20's and not my 40's. I drill it into my kids to save money, not to rack up credit card debt and to not live above their means.

All blockades to happiness can be traced to debt and envy. Envy of other happy families, envy of marriage, envy of what others are doing, what I thought I should be doing which brought me to debt. Money can't buy happiness. I know that. Being smart with your money, no matter how little you have, can.

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